In order to move on, you sometimes have to accept the phrase "kill your darlings". In exceptional cases, the darlings kill themselves.
Sambassadeur's Coastal Affairs was the best EP of 2006, but now I also know that Coastal Affairs was the beginning of the end. I adored and still love Coastal Affairs, but the EP inevitably brought Sambassadeur in a new direction characterised by a luxury and orchestrated sound. Last year's album Migration was a huge disappointment and another victim of the sterile, overproduced sound landscape which Jari Haapalainen and like-minded producers, in this case Mattias Glavås, have made their own. The Sambassadeur that are on tour this spring does not have much in common with the band I once fell in love with.
Last Friday, Sambassadeur played in Malmö in front of Southern Sweden's worst crowd on a stage that was far too big for the band. Nothing could save the gig under those circumstances and I should probably give up attending concerts at the venue Kulturbolaget. When Sambassadeur played New Moon as their first song I knew that the concert would be my definite farewell to the band. In all honesty, I had not expected anything else, but I wanted to be there to be sure.
Sambassadeur is not exactly known as a strong live band, but I still can not understand why you play live when you show no interest in the audience. The songwriting core of the band, Joachim Läckberg (guitar) and Anna Persson (vocals), looked uncomfortable in the spotlight in the center of the stage. The bassist Daniel Tolegård and the other guitarist Daniel Permbo stood on either side and at least made an effort. A band must realise though that something is wrong when their guest drummer is the most interesting person to watch.
Sambassadeur will certainly have more success in the future, but I am not particulalry interested when the production has become more important than great melodies. Sambassadeur wrote fantastic songs some years ago. Sambassadeur did not play If Rain, Dead Leaves or even Between the Lines at the show. The only song that really made me shine was my song - Marie. In the end, Marie alone made it worthwhile to take a Friday trip to Malmö after all.
Four out of Ten.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Penny Century - Nothing Burns Like Bridges
Today I woke up by myself five to six in the morning. I will soon sit on my days off and eat breakfast four 'o clock at night if this sick thing continues.
I was wrong in my last post. It does not take an hour a day to travel between Lund and the city I yet do not have a relationship with. It rather seems like I should be happy if I can limit the travelling to two and a half hours a day. It is raining outside and I have yawned since I came home a couple of hours ago. A brutal contrast to the beautiful Monday which was the best day in a long time.
Everything is as usual at tweenet. Their visitors have voted for indiepop favourite things in 2007. The votes are now counted and the list about the best bands of the year is dominated by talented but boring ones. Who seriously rates Cats on Fire as the world's best band?
Julia Hanberg's Penny Century is certainly not the world's best band but still deserve some attention. Bizarrely, Penny Century got almost all their votes on tweenet's list from people related to their record label. I could have voted for Penny Century's song Nothing Burns Like Bridges from last year's album Between a Hundred Lies, but Penny Century seem to remain a band with great potential that do not get the recognition they deserve.
I was wrong in my last post. It does not take an hour a day to travel between Lund and the city I yet do not have a relationship with. It rather seems like I should be happy if I can limit the travelling to two and a half hours a day. It is raining outside and I have yawned since I came home a couple of hours ago. A brutal contrast to the beautiful Monday which was the best day in a long time.
Everything is as usual at tweenet. Their visitors have voted for indiepop favourite things in 2007. The votes are now counted and the list about the best bands of the year is dominated by talented but boring ones. Who seriously rates Cats on Fire as the world's best band?
Julia Hanberg's Penny Century is certainly not the world's best band but still deserve some attention. Bizarrely, Penny Century got almost all their votes on tweenet's list from people related to their record label. I could have voted for Penny Century's song Nothing Burns Like Bridges from last year's album Between a Hundred Lies, but Penny Century seem to remain a band with great potential that do not get the recognition they deserve.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sons and Daughters - Darling
I woke up by myself well rested nine o'clock in the morning to a day off. Apparently, I am going to travel between Lund and Malmö the next ten weeks, and with that I say goodbye to one hour a day.
In total, I spent 1300 SEK directly related to my studies yesterday. The monthly bus card cost 640 SEK and the course literature was equally expensive. Surprisingly, I was still happy because I managed to "cheat" the system and come home with a CD album I almost got for free.
The Academy bookstore (Akademibokhandeln) hands out discount cards for which you collect stamps. Ten stamps mean that you can deduct 100 SEK when you buy at their store. Yesterday, I had for once remembered to bring my old half-filled discount card and reached ten stamps. I expected to get my discount but it would only be given at the next purchase. That is annoyingly stupid and it would not be possible to use the discount without buying things I do not need right now. I walked around in the bookstore, thought about it and then asked the cashier if I could use the discount on music CDs. That was okay, so I came home with Säkert's debut album for 29 SEK. What a bargain!
It is said that a new semester is an excellent time for a fresh start. I would actually feel that way if I could only get my apartment cleaned. The new year has started well so far. Let us celebrate with some new music. Sons and Daughters sound like Long Blondes in some songs. Sons and Daughter's latest album This Gift may not be as good, but the song Darling is wonderful. Listen at the band's myspace.
In total, I spent 1300 SEK directly related to my studies yesterday. The monthly bus card cost 640 SEK and the course literature was equally expensive. Surprisingly, I was still happy because I managed to "cheat" the system and come home with a CD album I almost got for free.
The Academy bookstore (Akademibokhandeln) hands out discount cards for which you collect stamps. Ten stamps mean that you can deduct 100 SEK when you buy at their store. Yesterday, I had for once remembered to bring my old half-filled discount card and reached ten stamps. I expected to get my discount but it would only be given at the next purchase. That is annoyingly stupid and it would not be possible to use the discount without buying things I do not need right now. I walked around in the bookstore, thought about it and then asked the cashier if I could use the discount on music CDs. That was okay, so I came home with Säkert's debut album for 29 SEK. What a bargain!
It is said that a new semester is an excellent time for a fresh start. I would actually feel that way if I could only get my apartment cleaned. The new year has started well so far. Let us celebrate with some new music. Sons and Daughters sound like Long Blondes in some songs. Sons and Daughter's latest album This Gift may not be as good, but the song Darling is wonderful. Listen at the band's myspace.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Setlists and pop dreams
Among all the stressfull Friday nights at Blekingska last fall, I remember one conversation very well. The band Irene were preparing the stage for sound check. In the meantime, I was speaking to Tobias and Malin of Laurel Music about which songs they were going to play. Please don't show me the setlist, I do not want to know anything before the show, I said. Why not, Malin asked. Then and there I found it difficult to give a quick answer and probably said something stupid such as it gets more exciting that way without further explaining myself. It stroke me afterwards that this conversation opened my eyes. At that moment I became aware that there are so many different ways to experience a concert.
A great deal of my experience at pop concerts is the concept of being left unknown about exactly what songs that will be played and how they are arranged, in the same way that you do not know how things are going for your favourite team in the next match. It may seem a bit silly that this could impact the experience so much, but we both forget that when the favourite band plays our song.
As a promoter, I collected setlists from most, but not all, gigs at Blekingska last fall. It may be fun to look at them in the future. For the record, I add the setlists to this post as well. The dotted line separates the ordinary concert set from the encore.
Like Honey, September 21, 2007
New York – Tiles – Old Boy – Telling Lies – Five Minute Dream – Nothing's Right
--------------------
Airport
Language of Flowers, September 21, 2007
Where You Belong - Who You're With - Cat's Miaow - You're The One - Summer's Been and Gone - If It's Not You - Songs About You - Panda Girl - I Don't Care at All - Tara Mascara
--------------------
Botanic Gardens
Secret Shine, September 28, 2007
Oblivion – Lost Memory – Sound of Light – Deep Thinker – Hate You When You Smile – Adored – Stars in the Sky – Hit the Ground – Cafe Crash – Wish Coming True – Loveblind
Friday Bridge, October 5, 2007
Introduction de la Soirée – Le Satin S’empare – The End of the Affair – Literature – The Lady Julie – Armance L’Actrcie – Shanghai Shipping – Edward the Hedgehog – The Story of Agnes – Love and Nostalgia – 24 Hour Party People – It Girl
Strange Idols, October 12, 2007
Say Anything – Old Times – He’s Out Looking for Love – She’s Gonna Let You Down Again – X-ray Vision – New song – Intensions – Blue Espers/Berlin - It’s No Fun
--------------------
Ovanite Sensation
Laurel Music, November 2, 2007
The Way Love Goes – Dreams and Lies – Disappear – Northern Light – No One Wants Forever – Into the Blue – Sirens
(in Copenhagen the following night Laurel Music added Question Mark, Karma 2 AM, and another new song to the concert set)
Irene, November 2, 2007
The Game – Little Things – Looking for Love – Stardust – Seaside – Waterfront – End of the Line – September Skies – Only You – Baby I Love Your Way – June Is Flat – Little Lovin’ – By Your Side
Lucky Soul, November 10, 2007
My Brittle Heart – One Kiss Don’t Make a Summer – Ain’t Never Been Cool – Struck Dumb – Add Your Light to Mine, Baby – The Towering Inferno – Baby, I’m Broke – Gimme Love – The Great Unwanted – Heatwave by Marta Reeves and The Vandelas – Lips Are Unhappy
--------------------
The Killing Moon by Echo and The Bunnymen
The Sunny Street, November 30, 2007
Drawings – Blackberries – Morton and Claude – Kill You – Rainy Hearts – Comedians – Cyclists – All the Way – Greasy Crisps – Pottery and Glass
In some strange way, I managed to also get a setlist from Säkert's gig at Kulturbolaget in Malmö on December 1. I post that one as well, but I will not bring home any more paper pieces from concerts in a while.
Säkert, Kulturbolaget December 1, 2007
Och Jag Grät Mig till Sömns - Rotary - Stetoskop - Någon Gång Måste Du Bli Själv - Ditt Kvarter - Det Här Är Vad Dom Säger - Min Hemstad - Faller Isär - New song - Sanningsdan - Allt Som Är Ditt - Är Du Fortfarande Arg
--------------------
Det Kommer Bara Leda till Något Ont - Vi Kommer Att Dö Samtidigt - 2006
A great deal of my experience at pop concerts is the concept of being left unknown about exactly what songs that will be played and how they are arranged, in the same way that you do not know how things are going for your favourite team in the next match. It may seem a bit silly that this could impact the experience so much, but we both forget that when the favourite band plays our song.
As a promoter, I collected setlists from most, but not all, gigs at Blekingska last fall. It may be fun to look at them in the future. For the record, I add the setlists to this post as well. The dotted line separates the ordinary concert set from the encore.
Like Honey, September 21, 2007
New York – Tiles – Old Boy – Telling Lies – Five Minute Dream – Nothing's Right
--------------------
Airport
Language of Flowers, September 21, 2007
Where You Belong - Who You're With - Cat's Miaow - You're The One - Summer's Been and Gone - If It's Not You - Songs About You - Panda Girl - I Don't Care at All - Tara Mascara
--------------------
Botanic Gardens
Secret Shine, September 28, 2007
Oblivion – Lost Memory – Sound of Light – Deep Thinker – Hate You When You Smile – Adored – Stars in the Sky – Hit the Ground – Cafe Crash – Wish Coming True – Loveblind
Friday Bridge, October 5, 2007
Introduction de la Soirée – Le Satin S’empare – The End of the Affair – Literature – The Lady Julie – Armance L’Actrcie – Shanghai Shipping – Edward the Hedgehog – The Story of Agnes – Love and Nostalgia – 24 Hour Party People – It Girl
Strange Idols, October 12, 2007
Say Anything – Old Times – He’s Out Looking for Love – She’s Gonna Let You Down Again – X-ray Vision – New song – Intensions – Blue Espers/Berlin - It’s No Fun
--------------------
Ovanite Sensation
Laurel Music, November 2, 2007
The Way Love Goes – Dreams and Lies – Disappear – Northern Light – No One Wants Forever – Into the Blue – Sirens
(in Copenhagen the following night Laurel Music added Question Mark, Karma 2 AM, and another new song to the concert set)
Irene, November 2, 2007
The Game – Little Things – Looking for Love – Stardust – Seaside – Waterfront – End of the Line – September Skies – Only You – Baby I Love Your Way – June Is Flat – Little Lovin’ – By Your Side
Lucky Soul, November 10, 2007
My Brittle Heart – One Kiss Don’t Make a Summer – Ain’t Never Been Cool – Struck Dumb – Add Your Light to Mine, Baby – The Towering Inferno – Baby, I’m Broke – Gimme Love – The Great Unwanted – Heatwave by Marta Reeves and The Vandelas – Lips Are Unhappy
--------------------
The Killing Moon by Echo and The Bunnymen
The Sunny Street, November 30, 2007
Drawings – Blackberries – Morton and Claude – Kill You – Rainy Hearts – Comedians – Cyclists – All the Way – Greasy Crisps – Pottery and Glass
In some strange way, I managed to also get a setlist from Säkert's gig at Kulturbolaget in Malmö on December 1. I post that one as well, but I will not bring home any more paper pieces from concerts in a while.
Säkert, Kulturbolaget December 1, 2007
Och Jag Grät Mig till Sömns - Rotary - Stetoskop - Någon Gång Måste Du Bli Själv - Ditt Kvarter - Det Här Är Vad Dom Säger - Min Hemstad - Faller Isär - New song - Sanningsdan - Allt Som Är Ditt - Är Du Fortfarande Arg
--------------------
Det Kommer Bara Leda till Något Ont - Vi Kommer Att Dö Samtidigt - 2006
Saturday, December 15, 2007
My 2007
Concerts
A really good concert almost always comes down to more things than the music. Sambassadeur have written my soundtrack (the tambourines are shaking but I don't hear the sound, it's my favorite song but I don't like the crowd) of many gigs that were spoiled by people who were talking during the songs. The crowd was horrible when Lucky Soul played at Debaser Medis in Stockholm on Friday, November 9. Lucky Soul played at Blekingska in Lund the following night. The office people who ran the student nation decided to overprice the tickets. I was not happy with that, but the concert was absolutely fantastic because all people who had paid an expensive ticket for the show came for the music rather than the booze. People jumped up and down crazily to the hits Lips Are Unhappy and Ain't Never Been Cool, but they were still completely silent during the quit ballad Baby I'm Broke. Wonderful!
This was very ironic since the crowd at the very same Blekingska talked constantly during Laurel Music's comeback gig only one week earlier. I saw Laurel Music in Copenhagen the following night. It was a very intimate concert with seats around tables for the audience. I had a totally clear view and everyone was quiet the whole time. Laurel Music's concert in Copenhagen will stay in my memory for life. Language of Flowers gave me another unforgettable night when I had the honor to host their last ever show.
The Magic Numbers end the concert year 2007 on Wednesday. I look forward to that gig but I do not think that it will manage to get a place on my list. The concert year has really been that good! I attended 16 concert nights this year, but I have not written any concert texts this fall. You were always on my mind, but I did not have the time to write.
1. Language of Flowers – September 21 at Blekingska, Lund
2. Lucky Soul – November 10 at Blekingska, Lund
3. Laurel Music – November 2 at Huset Magstreade, Copenhagen
4. Irene – November 2 at Blekingska, Lund
5. Au Revoir Simone – November 12 at Vega, Copenhagen
6. Strange Idols – October 12 at Blekingska, Lund
In addition to these concerts, I will particularly rembember the shows with Like Honey (at Blekingska as the support act for Language of Flowers), Air (at Vega the same night as Au Revoir Simone), and Säkert at Kulturbolaget in Mamö.
Albums
Just as I predicted a year ago this year's best album was made by a band whose name begins with "L", but I did not know that (to me) unknown Let's Go Sailing would take me by storm.
Sambassadeur's second album was clearly the disappointment of the year. The single Subtle Changes promised much, but everything I loved with Sambassadeur was lost on the long awaited album Migration. I should really appreciate the record given that Anna sings on all songs except one, but Migration fails to shine despite more than 20 listenings. Sambassadeur have changed their sound and many people will like it, but I will never ever prefer the current pop orchestra sound over the magic of If Rain. I give Migration the rating five out of ten. I have not decided the rating of The Chaos in Order and it will not be needed either. A number one on a year list is greater than a numerical rating.
1. Let's Go Sailing – The Chaos in Order
2. Lucky Soul – The Great Unwanted
3. Immaculate Machine – Fables
4. Celestial – Dream On
5. Tupelo Honeys – Salute You
6. Stars – In Our Bedroom After the War
7. Palomar – All Things, Forest
8. The Afternoon Naps – Sunbeamed
9. Friday Bridge – Intricacy
10. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
11. Säkert! – Säkert!
12. Fireflies – Goodnight Stars Goodnight Moon
13. Irene – Long Gone Since Last Summer
14. Love Dance – Result
15. The National – Boxer
Also good: Au Revoir Simone – The Bird of Music, The Loose Salute – Tuned to Love, Cats on Fire – The Province Complains, Electrelane – No Shouts No Calls, and Blonde Redhead – 23.
Songs
In the end I had to give in and admit that Bobby Wratten wrote two of the best songs this year.
1. Trembling Blue Stars – Idyllwild
2. Lucky Soul – One Kiss Don't Make a Summer
3. Stars – Bitches in Tokyo
4. Celestial – Dream On
5. Stars – Take Me to the Riot
6. Northern Fields – Never Take the Beauty
7. The Strange Idols – It's No Fun
8. Trembling Blue Stars – November Starlings
9. Tupelo Honeys – The Return of the Weeping Man
10. The School – Let It Slip
11. The Garlands – You Never Notice Me
12. Club 8 – The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Dreaming
13. Let's Go Sailing – Sideways
14. Sambassadeur – Subtle Changes
15. The Secret History – Mark and John
16. Irene – By Your Side
17. Immaculate Machine – Dear Confessor
18. The Secret History – Our Lady of Pompeii
19. Penny Century – Nothing Burns Like Bridges
20. Jonna Lee – Dried Out Eyes
21. Säkert! – Någon Gång Måste Du Bli Själv
22. Like Honey – Telling Lies
23. Palomar – You're Keeping Us Up
24. Those Dancing Days – Hitten
25. Liechtenstein – Stalking Skills
2008
Laurel Music's new album is called Cycles and will likely top my next year list. In addition, Katie Goes to Tokyo, Like Honey, and The Charade release new album. And The Secret History will hopefully come to Sweden.
A really good concert almost always comes down to more things than the music. Sambassadeur have written my soundtrack (the tambourines are shaking but I don't hear the sound, it's my favorite song but I don't like the crowd) of many gigs that were spoiled by people who were talking during the songs. The crowd was horrible when Lucky Soul played at Debaser Medis in Stockholm on Friday, November 9. Lucky Soul played at Blekingska in Lund the following night. The office people who ran the student nation decided to overprice the tickets. I was not happy with that, but the concert was absolutely fantastic because all people who had paid an expensive ticket for the show came for the music rather than the booze. People jumped up and down crazily to the hits Lips Are Unhappy and Ain't Never Been Cool, but they were still completely silent during the quit ballad Baby I'm Broke. Wonderful!
This was very ironic since the crowd at the very same Blekingska talked constantly during Laurel Music's comeback gig only one week earlier. I saw Laurel Music in Copenhagen the following night. It was a very intimate concert with seats around tables for the audience. I had a totally clear view and everyone was quiet the whole time. Laurel Music's concert in Copenhagen will stay in my memory for life. Language of Flowers gave me another unforgettable night when I had the honor to host their last ever show.
The Magic Numbers end the concert year 2007 on Wednesday. I look forward to that gig but I do not think that it will manage to get a place on my list. The concert year has really been that good! I attended 16 concert nights this year, but I have not written any concert texts this fall. You were always on my mind, but I did not have the time to write.
1. Language of Flowers – September 21 at Blekingska, Lund
2. Lucky Soul – November 10 at Blekingska, Lund
3. Laurel Music – November 2 at Huset Magstreade, Copenhagen
4. Irene – November 2 at Blekingska, Lund
5. Au Revoir Simone – November 12 at Vega, Copenhagen
6. Strange Idols – October 12 at Blekingska, Lund
In addition to these concerts, I will particularly rembember the shows with Like Honey (at Blekingska as the support act for Language of Flowers), Air (at Vega the same night as Au Revoir Simone), and Säkert at Kulturbolaget in Mamö.
Albums
Just as I predicted a year ago this year's best album was made by a band whose name begins with "L", but I did not know that (to me) unknown Let's Go Sailing would take me by storm.
Sambassadeur's second album was clearly the disappointment of the year. The single Subtle Changes promised much, but everything I loved with Sambassadeur was lost on the long awaited album Migration. I should really appreciate the record given that Anna sings on all songs except one, but Migration fails to shine despite more than 20 listenings. Sambassadeur have changed their sound and many people will like it, but I will never ever prefer the current pop orchestra sound over the magic of If Rain. I give Migration the rating five out of ten. I have not decided the rating of The Chaos in Order and it will not be needed either. A number one on a year list is greater than a numerical rating.
1. Let's Go Sailing – The Chaos in Order
2. Lucky Soul – The Great Unwanted
3. Immaculate Machine – Fables
4. Celestial – Dream On
5. Tupelo Honeys – Salute You
6. Stars – In Our Bedroom After the War
7. Palomar – All Things, Forest
8. The Afternoon Naps – Sunbeamed
9. Friday Bridge – Intricacy
10. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
11. Säkert! – Säkert!
12. Fireflies – Goodnight Stars Goodnight Moon
13. Irene – Long Gone Since Last Summer
14. Love Dance – Result
15. The National – Boxer
Also good: Au Revoir Simone – The Bird of Music, The Loose Salute – Tuned to Love, Cats on Fire – The Province Complains, Electrelane – No Shouts No Calls, and Blonde Redhead – 23.
Songs
In the end I had to give in and admit that Bobby Wratten wrote two of the best songs this year.
1. Trembling Blue Stars – Idyllwild
2. Lucky Soul – One Kiss Don't Make a Summer
3. Stars – Bitches in Tokyo
4. Celestial – Dream On
5. Stars – Take Me to the Riot
6. Northern Fields – Never Take the Beauty
7. The Strange Idols – It's No Fun
8. Trembling Blue Stars – November Starlings
9. Tupelo Honeys – The Return of the Weeping Man
10. The School – Let It Slip
11. The Garlands – You Never Notice Me
12. Club 8 – The Boy Who Couldn't Stop Dreaming
13. Let's Go Sailing – Sideways
14. Sambassadeur – Subtle Changes
15. The Secret History – Mark and John
16. Irene – By Your Side
17. Immaculate Machine – Dear Confessor
18. The Secret History – Our Lady of Pompeii
19. Penny Century – Nothing Burns Like Bridges
20. Jonna Lee – Dried Out Eyes
21. Säkert! – Någon Gång Måste Du Bli Själv
22. Like Honey – Telling Lies
23. Palomar – You're Keeping Us Up
24. Those Dancing Days – Hitten
25. Liechtenstein – Stalking Skills
2008
Laurel Music's new album is called Cycles and will likely top my next year list. In addition, Katie Goes to Tokyo, Like Honey, and The Charade release new album. And The Secret History will hopefully come to Sweden.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The Boy Has Gone Away
A year ago, I complained about the poor concert scence in Lund. In April this year, I nominated myself for the position as promoter at Blekingska nationen. The following lines were included in my presentation: If I am elected, I intend to make Club Indigo a unique, alternative concert scence that will give the audience happiest days of our lives-evenings this fall. I gladly listen to artist recommendations, but I am solely responsible for choosing the bands that will play at the club. It is my true opinion that a concert club will work at its best with a clear, consistent and considered band booking policy instead of eternal compromises.
I was, of course, elected and my work began after midsummer. As I am writing this almost half a year later, it is with tremendous pride that I am looking back on the fall. The mission is completed and the result speaks for itself. We were the club that exclusively set up the first concert in Sweden for Secret Shine and Strange Idols. We were honored a visit by Lucky Soul. On our inquiry, Laurel Music did a comeback gig after a year of silence. Language of Flowers played their last show ever at little Blekingska.
I would be lying if I said that all concert nights were perfect but it was amazing those nights where everything clicked. As promoter with the sole responsibility for band bookings, I was - together with sound engineers, club managers, band hosts, DJs, workers at Indigo and two hard working guys at the nation's office (thanks for this fall everyone!) - one of several people who during the fall of 2007 made Club Indigo the world's best pop club the three nights (September 21, November 2 and November 10) when everything came together perfectly.
September 7: Differnet
September 21: Language of Flowers (UK) + Like Honey
September 28: Secret Shine (UK)
October 5: Friday Bridge
October 12: Strange Idols (UK)
November 2: Irene + Laurel Music
November 10th: Lucky Soul (UK) + Napoleon
November 30: Punky's Dilemma + The Sunny Street (UK)
I was, of course, elected and my work began after midsummer. As I am writing this almost half a year later, it is with tremendous pride that I am looking back on the fall. The mission is completed and the result speaks for itself. We were the club that exclusively set up the first concert in Sweden for Secret Shine and Strange Idols. We were honored a visit by Lucky Soul. On our inquiry, Laurel Music did a comeback gig after a year of silence. Language of Flowers played their last show ever at little Blekingska.
I would be lying if I said that all concert nights were perfect but it was amazing those nights where everything clicked. As promoter with the sole responsibility for band bookings, I was - together with sound engineers, club managers, band hosts, DJs, workers at Indigo and two hard working guys at the nation's office (thanks for this fall everyone!) - one of several people who during the fall of 2007 made Club Indigo the world's best pop club the three nights (September 21, November 2 and November 10) when everything came together perfectly.
September 7: Differnet
September 21: Language of Flowers (UK) + Like Honey
September 28: Secret Shine (UK)
October 5: Friday Bridge
October 12: Strange Idols (UK)
November 2: Irene + Laurel Music
November 10th: Lucky Soul (UK) + Napoleon
November 30: Punky's Dilemma + The Sunny Street (UK)
End of the Line
Last Friday's Club Indigo came to be my last night as DJ at Blekingska nationen. I had decided in advance to not do any more DJ sets. In total I got six nights as DJ at Blekingska from January 2006 to November 2007.
Last Friday, I easily found myself to be my harshest critic. I somehow forgot to play The Field Mice. And I did not play Happiest Days as the closing song! A reason as good as any to step aside and make way for a new generation of kids.
(22.00)
Air - Cherry Blossom Girl
Trembling Blue Stars - November Starlings
Stars - Elevator Love Letter
Cats on Fire - Higher Grounds
Aberdeen - Sink or Float
Irene - End of the Line
The Aislers Set - The Way to the Market Station
Celestial - Nothing Happens Twice
Those Dancing Days - Hitten
Northern Fields - Never Take the Beauty
Red Sleeping Beauty - Make Me Smile
The Strange Idols - She's Gonna Let You Down
The School - Let It Slip
Language of Flowers - Summer's Been and Gone
Tilly and the Wall - Nights of the Living Dead
The Eyeliners - Everything's Alright
The Primitives - Secrets
The Cardigans - Rise and Shine
Ride - Twisterella
(23.00)
Like Honey - Airport
Wilson Hospital - Call Me A.S.A.P.
Sambassadeur - Marie
The Fat Tulips - Confessions of an English Girl
The Popguns - Waiting for the Winter
------------------------------------------------
THE SUNNY STREET LIVE
------------------------------------------------
Comet Gain - You Can Hide Your Love Forever
Belle and Sebastian - Sleep the Clock Around
Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken
Stone Roses - Mersey Paradise
My Favorite - The Informers
Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted
------------------------------------------------
PUNKY'S DILEMMA LIVE
------------------------------------------------
(00.50)
New Order - True Faith
Human League - Don't You Want Me
Blondie - Maria
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
The Cure - Friday I'm in Love
Le Sport - Tell No One About Tonight
Caesars Palace - Over for It Started
Pulp - Disco 2000
The Long Blondes - Once and Never Again
The Pipettes - Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me
Lucky Soul - Ain't Never Been Cool
The Smiths - This Charming Man
Language of Flowers - If It's Not You
Tralala - All Fired Up
Morrissey - First of the Gang
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
The Essex Green - The Late Great Cassiopia
Lucky Soul - Lips Are Unhappy
The Magic Numbers - Take a Chance
(02.00)
The Arrogants - Lovesick
Last Friday, I easily found myself to be my harshest critic. I somehow forgot to play The Field Mice. And I did not play Happiest Days as the closing song! A reason as good as any to step aside and make way for a new generation of kids.
(22.00)
Air - Cherry Blossom Girl
Trembling Blue Stars - November Starlings
Stars - Elevator Love Letter
Cats on Fire - Higher Grounds
Aberdeen - Sink or Float
Irene - End of the Line
The Aislers Set - The Way to the Market Station
Celestial - Nothing Happens Twice
Those Dancing Days - Hitten
Northern Fields - Never Take the Beauty
Red Sleeping Beauty - Make Me Smile
The Strange Idols - She's Gonna Let You Down
The School - Let It Slip
Language of Flowers - Summer's Been and Gone
Tilly and the Wall - Nights of the Living Dead
The Eyeliners - Everything's Alright
The Primitives - Secrets
The Cardigans - Rise and Shine
Ride - Twisterella
(23.00)
Like Honey - Airport
Wilson Hospital - Call Me A.S.A.P.
Sambassadeur - Marie
The Fat Tulips - Confessions of an English Girl
The Popguns - Waiting for the Winter
------------------------------------------------
THE SUNNY STREET LIVE
------------------------------------------------
Comet Gain - You Can Hide Your Love Forever
Belle and Sebastian - Sleep the Clock Around
Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken
Stone Roses - Mersey Paradise
My Favorite - The Informers
Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted
------------------------------------------------
PUNKY'S DILEMMA LIVE
------------------------------------------------
(00.50)
New Order - True Faith
Human League - Don't You Want Me
Blondie - Maria
Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth
Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out
The Cure - Friday I'm in Love
Le Sport - Tell No One About Tonight
Caesars Palace - Over for It Started
Pulp - Disco 2000
The Long Blondes - Once and Never Again
The Pipettes - Your Kisses Are Wasted on Me
Lucky Soul - Ain't Never Been Cool
The Smiths - This Charming Man
Language of Flowers - If It's Not You
Tralala - All Fired Up
Morrissey - First of the Gang
Soft Cell - Tainted Love
The Essex Green - The Late Great Cassiopia
Lucky Soul - Lips Are Unhappy
The Magic Numbers - Take a Chance
(02.00)
The Arrogants - Lovesick
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
The School - Let It Slip
I never went to the Another Sunny Day and The Icicles show in Malmö. I am not overly sorry for that. For once, I feel there is an excess of good concerts in the region. This Friday, The Sunny Street and Punky's Dilemma come to Lund and that will be my last time in the DJ booth at Blekingska. I really look forward to that.
There seem to pop up small amazing bands everywhere all the time. Today's trip goes to Wales and Cardiff where we find The School, a mini-Lucky Soul who have listened to Camera Obscura. But why compare with other bands when the song Let It Slip speaks for itself?
There seem to pop up small amazing bands everywhere all the time. Today's trip goes to Wales and Cardiff where we find The School, a mini-Lucky Soul who have listened to Camera Obscura. But why compare with other bands when the song Let It Slip speaks for itself?
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Air
An email landed in my inbox. It told me that I got two places on the guest list for the Air + Au Revoir Simone show at Vega in Copenhagen next Monday. This month will be so damn good.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Northern Fields - Never Take the Beauty
Yesterday I woke up and felt that life is wonderful. Exceptionally, this feeling not only persisted, but also strengthened today. Last night I saw that I had received an email from an amazing person whom I had not spoken with in a year. I met her today and it was nice to speak with her as ever. I was reminded of how good life can be.
On Friday, Laurel Music come to Blekingska and that will be so nice. And while I am living my dream, I listen to Northern Fields who have made this year's most beautiful pop song. It is named Never Take the Beauty and you can listen to it at the band's myspace.
On Friday, Laurel Music come to Blekingska and that will be so nice. And while I am living my dream, I listen to Northern Fields who have made this year's most beautiful pop song. It is named Never Take the Beauty and you can listen to it at the band's myspace.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Jonna Lee - Autumn Song
They come from nowhere and take me by storm. In 2004 Anna Ternheim, in 2005 Hello Saferide, and in 2006 Katie Goes to Tokyo.
Jonna Lee is not there yet. But she is just as good as Ternheim and Norlin in songs such as Autumn Song and Dried Out Eyes. No one is near the brilliance of Katie Goes to Tokyo though. Autumn Song and Dried Out Eyes are two fantastic songs that unfortunately can not carry the entire debut album 10 Pieces, 10 Bruises on their own. However, Jonna Lee shows that the Swedish singer/songwriter scene this year consists of more than the annoyingly sounding Maia Hirasawa and that is good enough.
By the way, I found a video from one of Jonna Lee's live performances. Do you hear it? I do not understand why people go to concerts when they rather talk to their friends than listen to the music. It is so disrespectful to artists who are worthy of a good crowd. If you want to just drink booze, you may as well stay home or go to a less cultural night club instead.
Jonna Lee is not there yet. But she is just as good as Ternheim and Norlin in songs such as Autumn Song and Dried Out Eyes. No one is near the brilliance of Katie Goes to Tokyo though. Autumn Song and Dried Out Eyes are two fantastic songs that unfortunately can not carry the entire debut album 10 Pieces, 10 Bruises on their own. However, Jonna Lee shows that the Swedish singer/songwriter scene this year consists of more than the annoyingly sounding Maia Hirasawa and that is good enough.
By the way, I found a video from one of Jonna Lee's live performances. Do you hear it? I do not understand why people go to concerts when they rather talk to their friends than listen to the music. It is so disrespectful to artists who are worthy of a good crowd. If you want to just drink booze, you may as well stay home or go to a less cultural night club instead.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Another Sunny Day - You Should All Be Murdered
If there is anything that I have learnt since summer, it would be that the world is full of idiots and that some of them are closer to me than I thought, at least geographically. It is extremely rare that I tell people to go fuck themselves but this time I had enough. Idiots! You should all be murdered!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Things Will Be Nice
November will be a fine month for concerts. If nothing unexpected happens, I will attend the following shows:
November 2: Irene + Laurel Music, Blekingska in Lund
November 9: Lucky Soul (UK), Debaser Medis in Stockholm
November 10: Lucky Soul (UK), Blekingska in Lund
November 22: Harvey Williams (Another Sunny Day, UK) + The Icicles (US), Don't Die on My Doorstep in Malmö
November 30: Punky's Dilemma + The Sunny Street (UK), Blekingska in Lund.
A ticket to Stockholm and back is booked. That will be a fun weekend.
November 2: Irene + Laurel Music, Blekingska in Lund
November 9: Lucky Soul (UK), Debaser Medis in Stockholm
November 10: Lucky Soul (UK), Blekingska in Lund
November 22: Harvey Williams (Another Sunny Day, UK) + The Icicles (US), Don't Die on My Doorstep in Malmö
November 30: Punky's Dilemma + The Sunny Street (UK), Blekingska in Lund.
A ticket to Stockholm and back is booked. That will be a fun weekend.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I dreamt of you last night
It certainly was a bit unreal. Last Friday, Blekingska was full of people who came for shows with my favourite bands. Before, between, and after the gigs, I and Psymon played our favourite pop. A nice little memory from the night was that someone wished for us to play The Knife. I skeptically replied that I would check my cd bag. I had left Deep Cuts at home. It did not fit in. Blekingska was really pop last Friday and I loved it.
(22.00)
Aberdeen - The Boy Has Gone Away
Ride - Twisterella
Another Sunny Day - You Should All Be Murdered
Trembling Blue Stars - Idyllwild
Celestial - Dream On
Red Sleeping Beauty - Make Me Smile
The Garlands - You Never Notice Me
Sally Shapiro - I'll Be by Your Side
Friday Bridge - Love and Nostalgia
The Lucksmiths - Camera-shy
Saturday Looks Good to Me - Lift Me Up
Acid House Kings - Say Yes If You Love Me
Sambassadeur - Subtle Changes
Strange Idols - It's No Fun
Stars - Ageless Beauty
Slowdive - When the Sun Hits
Brighter - Does Love Last Forever
Sambassadeur - Marie
Stars - Take Me to the Riot
(23.00)
Popguns - Waiting for the Winter
Headlights - TV
Lucky Soul - Ain't Never Been Cool
The Go! Team - Huddle Formation
Mates of State - Beautiful Dreamer
------------------------------------------------
LIKE HONEY LIVE
------------------------------------------------
My Favorite - Burning Hearts
Comet Gain - You Can Hide Your Love Forever
Laurel Music - Winter Slow
Pale Saints - Language of Flowers
The Sea Urchins - Pristine Christine
Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken
Free Loan Investments - Rush Hour
Camera Obscura - Phil and Don
------------------------------------------------
LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS LIVE
------------------------------------------------
(00:50)
The Field Mice - Emma's House
Lucky Soul - Lips Are Unhappy
New Order - True Faith
Le Sport - Tell No One About Tonight
Human League - Don't You Want Me
Morrissey - First of the Gang
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Blondie - Maria
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth
The Long Blondes - Once and Never Again
Saint Etienne - He's on the Phone
Tralala - All Fired Up
The Hidden Cameras - Ban Marriage
Pulp - Disco 2000
My Favorite - Absolute Zero
The Essex Green - The Late Great Cassiopia
The Smiths - Ask
Belle and Sebastian - Electronic Renaissance
The Magic Numbers - Take a Chance
The Field Mice - Canada
New Order - Regret
Broder Daniel - Shoreline
Language of Flowers - If It's Not You
Suede - Trash
Language of Flowers - Tara Mascara (I really should had ended the dj set with Happiest Days of My Life instead. That is the only thing in the dj set which I regret).
(22.00)
Aberdeen - The Boy Has Gone Away
Ride - Twisterella
Another Sunny Day - You Should All Be Murdered
Trembling Blue Stars - Idyllwild
Celestial - Dream On
Red Sleeping Beauty - Make Me Smile
The Garlands - You Never Notice Me
Sally Shapiro - I'll Be by Your Side
Friday Bridge - Love and Nostalgia
The Lucksmiths - Camera-shy
Saturday Looks Good to Me - Lift Me Up
Acid House Kings - Say Yes If You Love Me
Sambassadeur - Subtle Changes
Strange Idols - It's No Fun
Stars - Ageless Beauty
Slowdive - When the Sun Hits
Brighter - Does Love Last Forever
Sambassadeur - Marie
Stars - Take Me to the Riot
(23.00)
Popguns - Waiting for the Winter
Headlights - TV
Lucky Soul - Ain't Never Been Cool
The Go! Team - Huddle Formation
Mates of State - Beautiful Dreamer
------------------------------------------------
LIKE HONEY LIVE
------------------------------------------------
My Favorite - Burning Hearts
Comet Gain - You Can Hide Your Love Forever
Laurel Music - Winter Slow
Pale Saints - Language of Flowers
The Sea Urchins - Pristine Christine
Camera Obscura - Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken
Free Loan Investments - Rush Hour
Camera Obscura - Phil and Don
------------------------------------------------
LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS LIVE
------------------------------------------------
(00:50)
The Field Mice - Emma's House
Lucky Soul - Lips Are Unhappy
New Order - True Faith
Le Sport - Tell No One About Tonight
Human League - Don't You Want Me
Morrissey - First of the Gang
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Blondie - Maria
Belinda Carlisle - Heaven Is a Place on Earth
The Long Blondes - Once and Never Again
Saint Etienne - He's on the Phone
Tralala - All Fired Up
The Hidden Cameras - Ban Marriage
Pulp - Disco 2000
My Favorite - Absolute Zero
The Essex Green - The Late Great Cassiopia
The Smiths - Ask
Belle and Sebastian - Electronic Renaissance
The Magic Numbers - Take a Chance
The Field Mice - Canada
New Order - Regret
Broder Daniel - Shoreline
Language of Flowers - If It's Not You
Suede - Trash
Language of Flowers - Tara Mascara (I really should had ended the dj set with Happiest Days of My Life instead. That is the only thing in the dj set which I regret).
Friday, September 21, 2007
Great Expectations
September has been a long wait. Now it is finally Friday, September 21. Tonight Language of Flowers and Like Honey are playing live at Blekingska nationen in Lund. I and my friend Psymon are tonight's DJs. We are going to put up flyers around the town soon. The club opens at 22:00.
These are the happiest days of our lives.
These are the happiest days of our lives.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
The Strange Idols - She's Gonna Let You Down Again
I have a little dream. If it is fulfilled, the indie clubs stop playing blip blop and instead welcome me with The Strange Idols. You could always dream on.
For those who are wondering, I can announce that the blog is put into the freezer during the summer. Why? Read the I Wanna Be Adored text. I can not do everything at the same time and there are other projects which are much more important to me right now.
For those who are wondering, I can announce that the blog is put into the freezer during the summer. Why? Read the I Wanna Be Adored text. I can not do everything at the same time and there are other projects which are much more important to me right now.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Half year summary 2007
Albums
How many new records do you need for half a year?
I wonder how many records you need. What your record collection needs is an entirely different matter.
Every year there is at least one album I listen to quite differently compared to other records. These albums tend to become overlistened. I fell for Tralala and Hello Saferide two years ago. Katie Goes to Tokyo was more important than anyone else in 2006. Halfway into 2007, another two debut albums top my list. Lucky Soul's The Great Unwanted is fantastic but still does not have a chance against Let's Go Sailing's The Chaos in Order.
When I wrote my half year summary in June last year, I noted that the album concept no longer appealed to me. I was wrong. I was rather tired of lengthy albums and found it difficult to appreciate the abundance of records. Back then it felt like I had to listen to everything. It was, in other words, the music stress I had grown tired of. Now I find it easier to appreciate what I do have. I would be happy to just have Let's Go Sailing, Lucky Soul, and Palomar this semester. The rest is bonus listening. With an eye on the fall, I am hoping for Laurel Music, Like Honey, and Langauge of Flowers!
1. Let's Go Sailing - The Chaos in Order
2. Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted
3. Palomar - All Things, Forests
4. Friday Bridge - Intricacy
5. Love Dance - Result
Also good: Celestial - Dream On, Au Revoir Simone - The Bird of Music, Säkert! - Säkert!, The National - Boxer, The Loose Salute - Tuned to Love.
My record collection just got two new members: Celestial's Dream On and Camera Obscura's Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heartbroken. It will do with that for the rest of the year. But what the record collection needs and what I want are of course not the same thing.
Songs
I stand with a rifle. I will spend my life now. And take back everything that is yours.
Allt Som Är Ditt (Everything That Is Yours) was the collectively strongest music-related moment in Sweden in spring 2007. Consequences follow lines such as de jävlarna ska skjutas! (the bastards should be shot!) and I get scared when I read what some people write on their blogs. I get frightened by a lynch mob that finds the irreversible death penalty a better option than jail. I can not stress enough that innocent people are executed, and will be executed, by the state in countries which practise the death penalty.
On the other hand, I also get surprised by the tunnel vision shown by other people who find it difficult to understand why Annika Norlin (Säkert!) has become so acclaimed for Allt Som Är Ditt. The imagery may be very clear (you will get the message of the music video even if you do not understand a word of Swedish) if the lyrics are interpreted literally, but I understand the context and take the song for what it is. Allt Som Är Ditt is an important contribution to an always present debate and a description of the feelings shown by a friend of a raped woman. Those who criticize the lyrics could think about whether it would be better if Annika instead sang the bastards should be locked up (and then acquitted by the Supreme Court).
I want to clarify my views on this topic in order to avoid potential misunderstandings. I strongly believe in the principle of the accused being innocent until proven guilty. I am aware that the courts get it horribly wrong sometimes, but presumption of innocence is not the fault. The main problems in the judicial system are corruption, bias, prejudice, discrimination, and incompetence.
Trembling Blue Stars surprised me with Idyllwild and November Starlings. Bobby Wratten has something big going on if he can drop the Missing the Moon sound completely on the next album. That would allow Trembling Blue Stars to reach their full potential.
I really want to love Celestial's debut album. It is brilliant at times, but I find it difficult to listen to Bluebell Meadow and Pale Blue Eyes. They do not fit in among the other songs. I much rather listen to the fifth track Dream On again.
1. Säkert - Allt Som Är Ditt
2. Trembling Blue Stars - Idyllwild
3. Celestial - Dream On
4. Lucky Soul - One Kiss Don't Make a Summer
5. Let's Go Sailing - Sideways
6. Palomar - You're Keeping Us Up
7. Those Dancing Days - Hitten
8. Celestial - Fragile Heart
9. Trembling Blue Stars - November Starlings
10. Apples in Stereo - Sunday Sounds
Saturday, June 30, 2007
The Sunny Street - Comedians
Everyone talks about the festival Rip It Up. French-British The Sunny Street make me think about going there, but the rest of the line up does not appeal to me so I will stay at home. Though the price is admirably low.
Listen to the fine song Comedians at myspace .
Listen to the fine song Comedians at myspace .
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I Wanna Be Adored
What is the point of winning the whole world when you simultaneously lose yourself?
This month, the streets were filled with shiny happy young people ready to conquer the world. I became nostalgic and started to think about how it was when i graduated from high school. Leaving the school behind, walking together with my classmates down to the park where my beloved family greeted me with a sign and a large photo which pictured me as a kid smiling while wearing some kind of Viking helmet. I was happily surprised because I did not even know that photo existed.
I left home at age of 19 in August 2002. Too early? Hard to say. Sometimes you have to make life-determinant choices and I remember a strong desire for a new life in a new city with the opportunity to study something I really wanted.
My early time at Lund University was very overwhelming, but in a good way. The studies went brilliant and the combination of party-happy course mates, a flexible schedule and money in the form of student loans gave me a taste for the student life. I thought I had found the perfect balance between late nights out and long full days of studying on my own. In retrospect, I do not understand how I managed to keep up with everything.
Very good results on the two exams in my first semester gave me confidence about my studies. At that moment, I was offered a position in an ideal organisation. I felt flattered and said yes. It was a good learning experience but something I regret today, not so much for the position itself, but more for what it led to.
In summer 2003 I had passed all exams in my first academic year on the first attempt. That summer I worked far too much. The money gave me a nice fall from an economic perspective, but it was not worth it. I did not know back then. Instead my ego was fed even more when I realised I was the youngest one out of thirty active students at the student union's kick-off in the beginning of my third semester. Later in the fall, I accepted the position as President in another ideal organisation. This was a time-consuming commitment, but I never thought about the possibility to give up my position in the other ideal organisation. I spent that winter holiday in the Alps. It was somehow symptomatic of my first two academic years which were characterized by a personal desire to be everywhere and also a difficulty to say no, although I would never admit it then. Always good, preferably better and everything simultaneously. I forgot to sleep, eat and rest properly. It had worked before, so I saw no problem with that lifestyle then.
August 2004. A basic course in the end of my second academic year broke me. In my opinion I had prepared myself properly, but I was nowhere near passing the re-exam. For the first time ever, I got zero points on more than one essay question. I was extremely disappointed because I thought I was prepared, but two weeks with ten hour study days were not enough. The summer before that? Full time job.
I lost my confidence and that is dangerous for a person in a condition with great difficulty to distinguish between study, commitment in ideal organisations and leisure time. I was struggling with my studies and then things changed that were central in my life. I will not go into detail on this, but it did not make life easier to live. On the contrary, I was sad almost every morning because it was just another day. I was very fragile.
To make a long story short (by my standards, then, of course), I decided to move home in November 2006 and temporarily give up the University. It may have been my best decision since I decided to move to Lund. I have learned a lot about life during my time in Lund, and now I know what life is not about. That experience is worth every Swedish crown I have in student loan debt. Today I know that the verdict good often is enough as long as I do my best.
The quote at the beginning is taken from a column in the magazine IQ Student which I read by chance. A girl who studied journalism in Kalmar told how she perished by external demands and stressed the importance of not losing oneself. I recognized myself so strongly that I was inspired to write this post as self-therapy.
Last Thursday, I did a re-exam. That exam which broke me. How did it go? I passed with distinction! Wonderful!
Life is still a complicated project but I am working on it. I am a human and I need to be loved, but not at any cost.
This month, the streets were filled with shiny happy young people ready to conquer the world. I became nostalgic and started to think about how it was when i graduated from high school. Leaving the school behind, walking together with my classmates down to the park where my beloved family greeted me with a sign and a large photo which pictured me as a kid smiling while wearing some kind of Viking helmet. I was happily surprised because I did not even know that photo existed.
I left home at age of 19 in August 2002. Too early? Hard to say. Sometimes you have to make life-determinant choices and I remember a strong desire for a new life in a new city with the opportunity to study something I really wanted.
My early time at Lund University was very overwhelming, but in a good way. The studies went brilliant and the combination of party-happy course mates, a flexible schedule and money in the form of student loans gave me a taste for the student life. I thought I had found the perfect balance between late nights out and long full days of studying on my own. In retrospect, I do not understand how I managed to keep up with everything.
Very good results on the two exams in my first semester gave me confidence about my studies. At that moment, I was offered a position in an ideal organisation. I felt flattered and said yes. It was a good learning experience but something I regret today, not so much for the position itself, but more for what it led to.
In summer 2003 I had passed all exams in my first academic year on the first attempt. That summer I worked far too much. The money gave me a nice fall from an economic perspective, but it was not worth it. I did not know back then. Instead my ego was fed even more when I realised I was the youngest one out of thirty active students at the student union's kick-off in the beginning of my third semester. Later in the fall, I accepted the position as President in another ideal organisation. This was a time-consuming commitment, but I never thought about the possibility to give up my position in the other ideal organisation. I spent that winter holiday in the Alps. It was somehow symptomatic of my first two academic years which were characterized by a personal desire to be everywhere and also a difficulty to say no, although I would never admit it then. Always good, preferably better and everything simultaneously. I forgot to sleep, eat and rest properly. It had worked before, so I saw no problem with that lifestyle then.
August 2004. A basic course in the end of my second academic year broke me. In my opinion I had prepared myself properly, but I was nowhere near passing the re-exam. For the first time ever, I got zero points on more than one essay question. I was extremely disappointed because I thought I was prepared, but two weeks with ten hour study days were not enough. The summer before that? Full time job.
I lost my confidence and that is dangerous for a person in a condition with great difficulty to distinguish between study, commitment in ideal organisations and leisure time. I was struggling with my studies and then things changed that were central in my life. I will not go into detail on this, but it did not make life easier to live. On the contrary, I was sad almost every morning because it was just another day. I was very fragile.
To make a long story short (by my standards, then, of course), I decided to move home in November 2006 and temporarily give up the University. It may have been my best decision since I decided to move to Lund. I have learned a lot about life during my time in Lund, and now I know what life is not about. That experience is worth every Swedish crown I have in student loan debt. Today I know that the verdict good often is enough as long as I do my best.
The quote at the beginning is taken from a column in the magazine IQ Student which I read by chance. A girl who studied journalism in Kalmar told how she perished by external demands and stressed the importance of not losing oneself. I recognized myself so strongly that I was inspired to write this post as self-therapy.
Last Thursday, I did a re-exam. That exam which broke me. How did it go? I passed with distinction! Wonderful!
Life is still a complicated project but I am working on it. I am a human and I need to be loved, but not at any cost.
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